At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
