All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Randomize
