after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
