i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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