She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
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