Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
