So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
