how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Couch. On fire.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
