What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
