you would pick up someone in the library
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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