On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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