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Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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