I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Drunk is not a location!
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
