The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
