oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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