I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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