Pappa wants mamma naked
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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