i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
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If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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