Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
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lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
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Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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