So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
