Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize