So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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