Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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