so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
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then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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