Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
