I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
