So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
