Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
