OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
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