What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize