I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
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