On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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