I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Someone shit on the floor
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
