I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
