Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
