What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
she looked like the before picture.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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