Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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