THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
