I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
