It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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