Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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