Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Shame is for Republicans.
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