i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
