There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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