omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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