I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
