And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
