bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
