you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
