Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
