I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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