on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
