first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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