Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
