When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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