I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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