His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
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We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
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my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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