I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He? As in you personified your dick?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
