it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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