Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
These tits shall not be calmed
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
