I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
