What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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