I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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